Greatest Quotes on the Internet


 * "I am not a lawyor, so I don't know if this is legal or not. But I did get my batchler's in law on reddit, and I think this is against the constituency.  Good thing you recorded everything.  Cops suck, amirite?﻿"


 * "Try saying 'Spock smokes pot' 10 times fast!"


 * "You don’t have to like characters as long as you find them interesting."


 * "Comic book movies have come to take themselves very, very seriously without the writing/directing chops behind them to make serious films; they try to make dark, moody pieces but apparently lack the filmmaking prowess to actually do it."
 * "Also, people who issue death threats or who call the critic names for not giving their favorite comic book film four stars are simply mental health outpatients who equate their self-worth with fictitious characters and need more fulfilling lives or medication."


 * "They took a risk with a relatively unknown franchise but not with anything else about it, it seems."


 * "I have more respect for intestinal parasites than feminists. At least intestinal parasites can't help what they are."


 * "'Until then, rest well...and dream of large women.' ---Westley, The Princess Bride"


 * "All hail your mighty first-ness. Truly bards shall sing of this most epic of moments across the generations. Children shall grow up dreaming of the day that they too may be "First"."


 * "How come when a woman is pregnant everyone rubs her stomach and says congratulations but no one rubs your balls and says good job?﻿"


 * "how he had to do wrong to do the right thing."


 * "Next time, break the Prozac in half."


 * "Political correctness has gone too far when they allow a twat narrator who can barely speak English - I catch 1/2 of what she's saying and the other 1/2 annoys me.﻿"


 * "As a British gentleman living in New York ..."


 * "They say its a man's job to respect a woman,Me personally I feel like a woman pose to give a man something to respect."


 * "Shut the fuck THE BOTTOM!!! You mean you took it in the bottom to be here!! hahahaha﻿!"


 * "The smartest thing to have ever come out of your mouth, was a penis."


 * "ZD30, America loves it's cheese burgers, but doesn't like to see and hear about the abattoir."


 * "He was ashamed to be seen with her after she butchered "Yesterday" so badly at The Beatles' tribute concert is my guess."


 * "A shitty song for a shitty slut. Since the song came out, Kanye has nightmares and wakes up every night to check Kim`s vagina. lol Making sure Ray J is not hitting it again."


 * "I wish my wife didn't talk on Mondays and Tuesdays and maybe even Wednesday!"


 * "It's the innertubes. Land of lulz. Spelling is not as important as the ability to read context gracefully."


 * "To anyone reading the comments, being sarcastic on the internet doesn't work very well. Sarcasm works better in person where people can see you like Skype or video. Typing sarcasm fails most of the time and it doesn't have the sting when people can't see you."


 * "Spell check mis-click. Also im wearing typos like tattoos now."


 * "Pow9919, PLEASE learn how to speak English. Please--not for me, but for you. This whole illiterate thing has gone on long enough--you don't have to go through life unable to write a coherent sentence. You don't have to look uneducated and stupid every time you take fingers to keyboard. Have some self-pride, man."


 * "Here we soar to dark unknown, And leave the past of earth we known. Stars we seek, now lighthouse that guide, Into the great beyond that hope to bide. And once we found a place called home, To plant our stand against those roam. For the final frontier, was a step to man, Of countless gems, like sea and land." - A poem conceived by a fan of one of Thomas Bergersen's musical pieces.


 * "... As I am attempting to become a screenwriter, I find that I agree with the idea that characters must be allowed to "speak" to you so that you know what they'll do in your script. I don't believe that as a 'writer', I should force a character to do what I want them to do so that they'll fit into my plot outline. Interesting characters should bloom of their own uniqueness and personality which adds a rich credibility to your story. Does that make sense?" - A person making perfect sense about how to create a story.


 * "Plot, particularly it seems in Hollywood today, has become the driving force simply because - to studio execs - it's what people get on the most basic level (they may be right). For example, whenever you're told about a new film, the first question that comes to mind is - 'What's it about?'. That can mean almost anything, but to an audience it'll mean plot. A lot of people seem to think that an intriguing concept leads to the right execution, thus filmmakers a lot of times disregard characters, tone, mood, etc just for the sake of streamlining their story into a narrative that people will be expecting before they even walk in."﻿ - A concise fellow commenting on the difference between story and plot.


 * "[David S.] Goyer is overrated as hell. And he's a pretty awful writer.  The third Nolan Batman was pitiful, and it shows how bad the education system in our country is when people are still cherring for it simply because 'it was directed by Nolan, so therefore, it's amazing, period.' Goyer should not be allowed anywhere near the DC universe after Man of Steel.  It was an okay, weird version of the story of Superman, that fell very, very short when compared to every great Superman story that's been printed.  Why people are thinking this guy should write the sequel AND the Justice League movie is beyond comprehension.  People don't know shit in this country.  Give them an explosion and a cute face, and they'll say 'it's brilliant!!!  Give 'em an Oscar!!!!!'﻿ - This paragraph is overblown, but I can't help but laugh because I envision the poster as a cynical, skinny-looking, paranoid weirdo."


 * "Ironic, isn't it? Mothers are able to bring life into the world, and afterwards feel compelled to suck whatever joy there is out of it." - Mothers, you just gotta love 'em.


 * "The single bachelors national anthem." - Per Pinocchio's "I've Got No Strings".


 * "Using the word 'hater' is the same as admitting you're an idiot." - On point.


 * "How full of shit are you? Really, tell me." - When someone's feeds you astoundingly, bad BS.


 * "Pretty ironic a jew is a nazi... grammar nazi."


 * "Jake Tapper was sexting interns. "Wanna hear about my poll?"


 * "CHALLENGE: a black rapper has to make a music video with/without the following things:
 * no fake jewelry.
 * no rented houses, cars, jets, helicopters or boats.
 * no hiring models to walk around in bikinis
 * no referring to said models as hoes or bitches
 * no advertising by beats by Dre
 * no drinking sizzurp, lean or promoting a new shit drink
 * must be clothed for the entirety of the music video (no sagging pants and shirt must fit)
 * no bragging about bank account size
 * no twerking
 * no saying the 'N-word'
 * no lying about shooting people
 * no domestic violence (Chris Brown)
 * no DJ audio-marks (i.e. "mustard on the beat" or "m-m-m-m-maybach music")
 * no repeating a chorus line more than four times ("hold-up, we dem boyz" x10)
 * no smoking copious amounts of weed
 * no hard drugs
 * rap must be understandable
 * have a positive message (optional)
 * no hiring extras to pretend to have a good time (must be actual friends or acquaintances)
 * not allowed to mention money or show cash (especially no counting it or making it rain)
 * no 808 drums or overused bass loops
 * no making voice deeper for the chorus (A$AP Rocky, I'm talking to you).
 * (this has never been completed by a black rapper before, copy and paste this if you would like to see this attempted, spread the word)﻿" - ROFL!


 * So I killed a man today for a packet of what I thought was Cheese and Onion crisps at 80% off, but it turns out they're Salt and Vinegar. What should I do? I want to return them, but I've always heard that most criminals are caught because they return to the scene of the crime. Can anybody help me? - Black Friday joke.


 * If Hollywood doesn't like to take risks, what does that mean for originality? I know Hollywood is a business, and like any business, it has to get a greater return for what it invests, but I'm afraid the assembly line of sequels and remakes has made it nearly impossible for filmmakers to distribute anything different, unless your name is Steven Spielberg or Christopher Nolan - the movers and shakers who can bypass the studios in terms of funding and creative freedom.  Unfortunately, Hollywood is chock full of followers and not leaders.  Right after the success of Avatar, suddenly everyone else wanted to do 3-D.  It just got nauseating.  I remember at the zenith of the Harry Potter franchise, it seemed like competing studios wanted to make their own magical child protagonist movies.  If I ever become a filmmaker, I'd like to be independent to have more creative freedom and remain true to my vision.  The way Hollywood is now is kind of disheartening. ﻿- Fuck it, I'm independent.


 * "Only in Hollywood do you fail upwards if you still eke out money." - See also super hacks Orci and Kurtzman.


 * "The internet is anarchism in its purist form."


 * "I am like Christ in my inattention to you. You must adapt to me. Nuance is nothing. I assert that it is you who are programmed as I stuporously click my iPhone on your time."

“Critics who treat 'adult' as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.”

― C.S. Lewis


 * "Patience isn't a virtue. Getting shit done immediately is a virtue."


 * "...Had his mind on the fact that he was ABOUT to win instead of making sure he secured the win. "